ConBeck Presents: "What is to be Done?"

"That myspace page crush attempt was awful."





"I saw a sticker of that band on a urinal last night. I took a picture on my phone, but I don't even know how to send it. It would have been much funnier if you saw it in the manner i initially did."









"It would have been funnier if we were shitfaced with our pants at our ankles standing in a pool of various men's urine?"






"That, and if you were there asking people who were trying to piss for paper towels like a drunken gay zombie."







". . . and if you then walked out of the bar onto the sidewalk and stumbled two blocks while groping several unsuspecting females and mumbling that you need more drinks."





"Then we can take the paper towels and the grope-groupies back to your place for that fabled barbecue."








"Then we can fold out your futon for a nap and take a look at the science projects growing in your bathroom."






"Then we can wash your bed's plastic sheets with a power washer and you can leave 5.0 another incoherent voicemail."







"Then we can watch you ask a 4'11" guy to go outside, then change your mind, jerk him off and pay his bar tab."








"Then you can put your pampers on and pass out three hours before the rest of us."







"Then you could mumble something about a guy's mother and disgrace Red Sox Nation again by backing down from a Yankee fan while in Fenway Park."

FINIS?